"I want to stop life."
Think off it. I want to feel full, never eat but for enjoyment. I want to freeze time and save a moment for the wallet in my back pocket, but with the full experience. I want all of the experiences in life to reciprocate evenly with the joy and excitement of living, but not the woes. Wouldn’t that be exciting?
But it’s not healthy, no, I know for certain. Dreaming as such already shows my weakness. Dreary, fearful, and anxious of the future. I’m scared to fail and its definitely not a thought that hasn’t come up, but now? It seems to consume me. Probably because my future seems bleak and I can’t work efficiently for the standard social gear turning, yet I’m blessed to be talented in skills of rarity, skills desperately devoted to the world of the heart rather than the works of the stars because I’m sure the world has no need for contributions so worthless, yet so devoted to one’s heart, all hearts, and all people. Who pays for joy? Who pays for peace? Who pays for self indulgence? Everyone, but I feel like such should be free and guilt would build over me, but I also want to be rich and live in luxury with a fancy house and good company (not rich folks, my closest friends) and give them back all they’ve given to me. That’s everyone’s dream, yah? Harhar, of course.
My fear runs deep though. It’s nestled nicely in the crevices of youth and fear it self. The semester is ending and I’m sweating. I know all my studying, my efforts, my attending, was all for nothing. I won’t be able to pass. What’s the point of dreaming of university when I can’t even get over community college with flying colors? I’m fucking capable for a fact to learn, understand, and apply all the shit that i learn, but I fail because I don’t care to apply in work I don’t need. I learn history yet I write an argumentative essay for you. Great, easy, but why. Are you trying to induce analytical thinking? Good stuff, I could, I do, but how does this apply to my future job where I work for the man? How does these core class help anything except for expanding thought? I’m so incredibly okay with expanding my thought, but to require me for it? No. I don’t have time for that. I don’t want you to require me to siphon my money into your hands to do as you see fit because I have my own shit too worry about before I can donate to your cause. I’d like to learn what I please and get on with my living.
Perhaps I’m just making excuse to deviate away from my varying and lacking of unified education or groveling because I don’t organize my courses in a way that would benefit my studies, but regardless, are you serious? What can I do with my life? There are so many who do better. There are so many who are more original. What makes me so different? I couldn’t answer if I wanted to, simply I’m a self-pity-giver. At least recently I have been. Recently I’ve just been stuck in my head, stuck at home, and looking at others in yearn for their lives while I shame myself for having nothing accomplished in comparison to those who already accomplish. I want to accomplish, but what can I accomplish with my own feet, hands, and mind? What can I accomplish to be known, to feel respected, and know respect for contributions to something.
I’ve had so many dreams and I’ve dreamed for hope to see where I would be. I’ve seen it, felt it, smelled it, kissed it, loved it. Currently though, I wonder where to go? Where will my guides take me and where can I start my own road of accomplishment? Yes, where will I go…
All those thoughts dim my sight and here I am searching for light in darkness, but where is that thing I seek and Damn the confusion and fear that nibbles my feet, when will I reach where I need to reach because fuck me side ways I’d like to fucking know.
janitor art masterpost as requested by anon!
edit: updated with the two latest drawings!!
If a girl is to do the same superman thing where he takes off his disguise, we just look pervy. Not the same effect
First of all: bullshit.
Secondly: If you are not doing the Linda Carter spin, then you’re doing it wrong.
how did you do that so smoothly?
REBLOG IF I SHOULD GET THESE TATTOOED ON MY NIPPLES
1 million notes and i’ll do it
let’s ruin this persons life and reblog
my 11 yr old brother wrote “1pm: masturbate” as a to-do list on my grandma’s phone
A bus driver who tried to rape a passenger at knifepoint chose the wrong victim, a court heard yesterday.
The woman, an off-duty US navy sailor, knocked the knife from his grasp, broke it in two, bit his hand, wrestled him to the ground and put him in a stranglehold between her thighs.
Having beaten him into submission, she left the bus and reported the incident to her commander.
she broke a knife in half